caption this photo

my mother brought her with us on our cruise. She drove us totally nuts! She wrapped toilet paper around her glassed instead of wearing sunglasses... makes sense right?

Shrimp Fried Rice
3 tablespoons low-sodium soy sauce
2 tablespoons water
2 tablespoons rice vinegar
1 teaspoon sesame oil
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper
3 tablespoons vegetable oil, divided
1 1/2 pounds medium shrimp, peeled and deveined
3 large eggs, lightly beaten
2 cups finely chopped green onions
1 tablespoon minced peeled fresh ginger
4 cups cooked long-grain rice, chilled
1 1/2 cups frozen green peas, thawed

Combine first 6 ingredients in a bowl.
Heat 1 tablespoon vegetable oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add shrimp; cook 4 minutes or until done. Remove from pan; keep warm. Heat 2 tablespoons vegetable oil in pan. Add eggs; stir-fry 30 seconds or until soft-scrambled, stirring constantly. Stir in onions and ginger; stir-fry 1 minute. Stir in soy sauce mixture, shrimp, rice, and peas; cook 3 minutes or until heated. 

Yield: 6 servings (serving size: 1 1/3 cups)

NUTRITION PER SERVING
CALORIES 388(28% from fat); FAT 12g (sat 2.5g,mono 3.5g,poly 4.6g); PROTEIN 26.1g; CHOLESTEROL 240mg; CALCIUM 104mg; SODIUM 544mg; FIBER 3.1g; IRON 4.8mg; CARBOHYDRATE 42.3g

Stir-Fried Broccoli With Oyster Sauce
The garlicky oyster sauce not only goes well with broccoli, but also with asparagus, zucchini, green beans, or cauliflower.

2 pounds broccoli
6 cups water
1/2 cup fat-free, less-sodium chicken broth
3 tablespoons oyster sauce
1 1/2 tablespoons rice wine or sake
1 1/2 teaspoons cornstarch
1 1/2 teaspoons sugar
1 teaspoon low-sodium soy sauce
1 teaspoon dark sesame oil
1 1/2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1/4 cup minced green onions
1 1/2 tablespoons minced peeled fresh ginger
2 tablespoons minced garlic (about 8 cloves)

Cut broccoli florets and stems into bite-size pieces to measure 10 cups.
Bring water to a boil in a large Dutch oven; add broccoli. Cook broccoli 4 minutes or until crisp-tender; drain.
Combine broth and next 6 ingredients (broth through sesame oil); stir well with a whisk. Heat the vegetable oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add onions, ginger, and garlic; sauté 15 seconds. Add broth mixture; bring to a boil. Cook 1 minute or until thick, stirring constantly. Add broccoli; cook 30 seconds, tossing to coat. 

Yield: 8 servings (serving size: 1 cup)

NUTRITION PER SERVING
CALORIES 80(40% from fat); FAT 3.5g (sat 0.6g,mono 1g,poly 1.7g); PROTEIN 3.8g; CHOLESTEROL 0.0mg; CALCIUM 62mg; SODIUM 275mg; FIBER 3.6g; IRON 1.1mg; CARBOHYDRATE 10.3g


what is said and what is meant

my mom joined an online dating service... Here is the email he sent her. I took the liberty of translating it below I have a feeling its what he really means....


My name is Freddie, I enjoy cooking and I take classes (as a hobby) at l'academie de cuisine in Bethesda. I am a professional musician and own an entertainment company. We probably know a lot of the same people (if not each other). I live with my 2 Kerry Blue Terriers (Terrorists) named Steinway & Baldwin. AKA the Doobie Brothers. I am told I am attractive, I am educated (JD in Law) although I think I'm too nice to practice,very well respected in the community and very much a gentleman. I am very GQ and enjoy doing fun things. I just joined a gym (I'm in pretty good shape, need to do more), have 2 grown children, 3 grandchildren."


My name is Freddie, I enjoy eating and heating up eggo waffles. I watch the food network as a hobby and wish I owned an oven. I am a professional harmonica player and own an escort service. We may know some of the johns my girls go to visit as their are prominent attorneys in Pikesville. I own two dogs that live outside because I am too lazy to be bothered. When given the option of dating me or Bob Hope I am told I am very attractive. I look very similar to Rodney Dangerfield. I have my law degree through internet courses and can’t practice because I am missing a leg, I scare adults and children alike. I am very Kmart and wear women’s underware as a hobby. I recently joined a gym but was kicked out because I was hitting on everyone with a pair of tits. I have two grown children in jail and 3 grandchildren in Foster Care. You would be foolish not to call me, just give me a heads of my home phone was turned off I need to run to the pay phone around the corner to get your call.

ghosts, alarm clocks and kicking my husbands ass

My last clock radio would sometimes make a static noise in the middle of no where, for a few seconds at a time. It would almost sound like static and buzz. The radio was off, I am pretty sure the alarm was set but for buzzer. I assumed it was broken so I tossed it. I bought a new one. NOW the same thing is happening with this new one. I am totally freakin' out. What could this be? Is it possible that there is a short in the plugs? I have several things plugged into a 6 plug thing ( sorry no idea what it's called, you plug it into your wall and it gives you 6 plugs).

My husband thinks he is SO funny and says it a ghost. I know I am going to sound like a lunatic but I was so pissed off he said that. It's so not funny to me at all. It honestly scares the Sh*t out of me. Realistically if there were a ghost ( so hard for me to even say that) wouldn't that have happened years ago? when we first moved in! Not 4 years later... Help me, give me a real reason this is happening. So I don't have to put my house on the market today.

recipes

Heartthrob Salad

A zesty salsa-like mixture of tomato, kalamata olives, and hearts of palm flavors this salad. Hearts of palm, which taste similar to artichoke hearts, come from the cabbage palm tree. Look for jars of hearts of palm near the artichoke hearts in your market.

1 1/2 cups chopped plum tomato
2 tablespoons minced fresh parsley
1 tablespoon chopped pitted kalamata olives
1 tablespoon white wine vinegar
1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
1/2 teaspoon olive oil
1/8 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon black pepper
1 small garlic clove, minced
1 (14.8-ounce) jar hearts of palm
1 1/2 cups thinly sliced Bibb lettuce leaves
1 teaspoon grated fresh Parmesan cheese

Place first 9 ingredients in a medium bowl; toss gently to combine. Remove 3 hearts of palm from jar; reserve remaining hearts of palm for another use. Dice 1 heart of palm; add to tomato mixture. Cover and chill at least 2 hours.

Cut remaining 2 hearts of palm in half lengthwise. Arrange 2 hearts of palm halves, 3/4 cup lettuce, and 3/4 cup tomato mixture on each of 2 salad plates. Top each serving with 1/2 teaspoon cheese.


Yield: 2 servings

NUTRITION PER SERVING
CALORIES 66(40% from fat); FAT 2.9g (sat 0.4g,mono 1.5g,poly 0.5g); PROTEIN 2.8g; CHOLESTEROL 0.0mg; CALCIUM 56mg; SODIUM 378mg; FIBER 2.8g; IRON 2mg; CARBOHYDRATE 9.7g




Chicken with Blueberry-Ginger Chutney
From Cooking Light

The chutney can be served warm, chilled, or at room temperature. Make it first, and chill while the chicken marinates, or prepare the chutney when the chicken is almost done marinating. Compared to fresh, frozen blueberries take about five minutes longer to cook and thicken because they release additional water.

Chutney:
2 cups fresh or frozen blueberries
1/3 cup packed brown sugar
1/3 cup finely chopped onion
1/4 cup golden raisins
3 tablespoons cider vinegar
1 1/2 teaspoons grated peeled fresh ginger
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/8 teaspoon crushed red pepper
Dash of ground cloves
1 garlic clove, minced

Chicken:
1 1/2 tablespoons olive oil
3/4 teaspoon dried basil
3/4 teaspoon dried oregano
6 (6-ounce) skinless, boneless chicken breast halves
3 garlic cloves, minced
3/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

To prepare chutney, combine first 11 ingredients in a medium saucepan; bring to a boil. Reduce heat to medium-low, and simmer 25 minutes or until thickened, stirring occasionally.

To prepare chicken, combine oil, basil, oregano, chicken, and 3 minced garlic cloves in a large heavy-duty zip-top bag; seal. Marinate in refrigerator for 2 hours, turning occasionally. Remove chicken from bag. Sprinkle 3/4 teaspoon salt and black pepper evenly over chicken.

Heat a large grill pan over medium-high heat. Cook the chicken 5 minutes on each side or until done. Serve with chutney.


Yield: 6 servings (serving size: 1 chicken breast half and about 1/4 cup chutney)

NUTRITION PER SERVING
CALORIES 321(16% from fat); FAT 5.7g (sat 1.1g,mono 3g,poly 0.9g); PROTEIN 40.2g; CHOLESTEROL 99mg; CALCIUM 51mg; SODIUM 511mg; FIBER 1.9g; IRON 2.1mg; CARBOHYDRATE 26.9g

again from cooking light. I took these pics too...

work whisperer

I've never understood the "work whisperer". The person that whispers your name quietly behind you when you are at your desk... dawnnnnn dawnnnn... Quite frankly I know there are there but find this whispering behavior so freaking annoying I ignore them until they speak in their big girl voice.

We are not at a funeral, a library, a briss. SPEAK THE F UP.



damn I am disgruntled!


on to better things...

valentines dinner for hubby



Roasted Bell Pepper and Orange Soup
1 large navel orange
1 large yellow bell pepper
2 teaspoons margarine
1/2 cup chopped onion
1/3 cup grated carrot
1 1/2 teaspoons all-purpose flour
1 cup fat-free chicken broth
1/2 cup 1% low-fat milk
1/8 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon pepper
1/8 teaspoon paprika
Quartered orange slices (optional)

Cut orange in half crosswise; slice about 1/4 inch from bottom of each half so they will sit flat. Cut bell pepper in half lengthwise; discard seeds and membranes. Place orange halves, cut side up, and pepper halves, skin side up, on a foil-lined baking sheet; flatten peppers with hand. Broil 15 minutes or until blackened.

Place pepper halves in zip-top plastic bag; seal. Let stand 20 minutes; peel. Squeeze juice from orange over a bowl to equal 1/4 cup; discard oranges. Place peppers and orange juice in a food processor or blender; set aside.

Heat margarine in a small saucepan over medium heat. Add onion and carrot; sauté 12 minutes or until carrot is tender. Add onion mixture to food processor; process until smooth.

Combine flour, broth, and milk in saucepan; stir with a whisk until blended. Place over medium heat; bring to a boil. Reduce heat; add pepper mixture, salt, pepper, and paprika; simmer 10 minutes, stirring occasionally. Garnish with oranges, if desired.


Yield: 2 servings (serving size: 1 1/4 cups)

NUTRITION PER SERVING
CALORIES 118(30% from fat); FAT 3.9g (sat 0.8g,mono 1.1g,poly 0.8g); PROTEIN 3.9g; CHOLESTEROL 2mg; CALCIUM 96mg; SODIUM 270mg; FIBER 2.4g; IRON 1.1mg; CARBOHYDRATE 16.4g




Deviled Crab Boules with Beurre Blanc
succulent crab and topped with a buttery wine sauce. Make-ahead tip: Prepare the bread shells and crab filling up to a day ahead of time. Just store the shells at room temperature in a zip-top plastic bag, and refrigerate the crab filling.

Boules:
2 (3-ounce) Kaiser rolls

Deviled crab:
1/4 cup finely chopped green onions, divided
1/4 cup dry white wine
2 garlic cloves, minced
2 tablespoons light mayonnaise
1 tablespoon stone-ground mustard
1/8 teaspoon ground red pepper
1/8 teaspoon paprika
1/2 pound lump crabmeat, shell pieces removed

Beurre blanc:
1/3 cup fat-free, less-sodium chicken broth, divided
1/4 cup finely chopped shallots
1/4 cup dry white wine
2 tablespoons white wine vinegar
1 bay leaf
1 teaspoon cornstarch
1 tablespoon butter
1/2 teaspoon lemon juice
1/8 teaspoon black pepper
Julienne-cut green onions (optional)

Preheat oven to 375°.

To prepare boules, hollow out each roll, leaving about a 1/4-inch-thick shell; reserve torn bread for another use. Place bread shells on a baking sheet. Bake at 375° for 5 minutes. Remove from oven; set aside.

To prepare deviled crab, combine 2 tablespoons chopped green onions, 1/4 cup wine, and garlic in a small saucepan; bring to a boil. Reduce heat; simmer until reduced to 2 tablespoons (about 2 minutes). Remove from heat; stir in mayonnaise, mustard, red pepper, and paprika. Add 2 tablespoons chopped green onions and crab; toss gently to combine. Spoon crab mixture evenly into bread shells. Bake at 375° for 15 minutes or until thoroughly heated.

To prepare beurre blanc, combine 2 tablespoons broth, shallots, 1/4 cup wine, vinegar, and bay leaf in a small saucepan; bring to a boil. Reduce heat, and simmer until reduced to 1/4 cup (about 3 minutes). Drain through a fine sieve into a bowl, reserving liquid; discard solids.

Return wine mixture to pan. Combine remaining broth and cornstarch, stirring well with a whisk; stir into wine mixture. Bring to a boil; cook 1 minute, stirring constantly. Remove from heat; add butter, stirring until butter melts. Stir in juice and black pepper. Serve beurre blanc immediately over warm boules. Garnish with julienne-cut green onions, if desired.


Yield: 2 servings (serving size: 1 boule and about 1/4 cup sauce)

NUTRITION PER SERVING
CALORIES 415(29% from fat); FAT 13.4g (sat 4.6g,mono 4.4g,poly 1.7g); PROTEIN 34.5g; CHOLESTEROL 142mg; CALCIUM 135mg; SODIUM 1049mg; FIBER 3.4g; IRON 3.2mg; CARBOHYDRATE 34.3g


Chocolate Chunk Bread Puddings
Try not to chop the chocolate too finely so you'll have good-sized chunks to bite into. Hawaiian bread pudding is a soft, sweet bread found in the bakery section of most grocery stores. Leftovers are good for ham and Swiss sandwiches.

1 3/4 cups (1/2-inch) cubed Hawaiian sweet bread
2/3 cup 2% reduced-fat milk
2 tablespoons sugar
1 1/2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa
1 tablespoon Kahlúa (coffee-flavored liqueur)
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 large egg, lightly beaten
Cooking spray
1 ounce semisweet chocolate, coarsely chopped
2 tablespoons frozen fat-free whipped topping, thawed

Preheat oven to 350°.

Arrange bread cubes in a single layer on a baking sheet. Bake at 350° for 5 minutes or until toasted. Remove bread from oven; decrease oven temperature to 325°.

Combine milk and next 5 ingredients (milk through egg) in a medium bowl, stirring well with a whisk. Add bread, tossing gently to coat. Cover and chill 30 minutes or up to 4 hours.

Divide half of bread mixture evenly between 2 (6-ounce) ramekins or custard cups coated with cooking spray; sprinkle evenly with half of chocolate. Divide remaining bread mixture between ramekins; top with remaining chocolate.

Place ramekins in an 8-inch square baking pan; add hot water to pan to a depth of 1 inch. Bake at 325° for 35 minutes or until set. Serve each pudding warm with 1 tablespoon whipped topping.


Yield: 2 servings

NUTRITION PER SERVING
CALORIES 319(30% from fat); FAT 10.6g (sat 5.2g,mono 3.6g,poly 0.8g); PROTEIN 9.8g; CHOLESTEROL 121mg; CALCIUM 125mg; SODIUM 141mg; FIBER 2.1g; IRON 1.8mg; CARBOHYDRATE 45.3g


all from Cooking Light online. Everything came out great!

No I don't work here!

Why does it annoy me so much when I am in a store or in this case the gym and some dumbass asks me if I work there. I was cleaning off one of the machines ( only God knows how much nastiness is on them) and this woman is like oh you work here right. I was standing there keys/ipod and papertowel in hand. I know I was rude. I was like ahh NO. She said well can you find someone up here that can help me. I am sure the look I gave her would have made an impact on any other person than her since she was so stupid. I was like.. here's an idea go look around for someone. I walked away.


Not too much going on here. I am going to start BFL basics again. Starting Monday. I am working on my charts.....