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February 24, 2006

what is said and what is meant

my mom joined an online dating service... Here is the email he sent her. I took the liberty of translating it below I have a feeling its what he really means....

My name is Freddie, I enjoy cooking and I take classes (as a hobby) at l'academie de cuisine in Bethesda. I am a professional musician and own an entertainment company. We probably know a lot of the same people (if not each other). I live with my 2 Kerry Blue Terriers (Terrorists) named Steinway & Baldwin. AKA the Doobie Brothers. I am told I am attractive, I am educated (JD in Law) although I think I'm too nice to practice,very well respected in the community and very much a gentleman. I am very GQ and enjoy doing fun things. I just joined a gym (I'm in pretty good shape, need to do more), have 2 grown children, 3 grandchildren."

My name is Freddie, I enjoy eating and heating up eggo waffles. I watch the food network as a hobby and wish I owned an oven. I am a professional harmonica player and own an escort service. We may know some of the johns my girls go to visit as their are prominent attorneys in Pikesville. I own two dogs that live outside because I am too lazy to be bothered. When given the option of dating me or Bob Hope I am told I am very attractive. I look very similar to Rodney Dangerfield. I have my law degree through internet courses and can’t practice because I am missing a leg, I scare adults and children alike. I am very Kmart and wear women’s underware as a hobby. I recently joined a gym but was kicked out because I was hitting on everyone with a pair of tits. I have two grown children in jail and 3 grandchildren in Foster Care. You would be foolish not to call me, just give me a heads of my home phone was turned off I need to run to the pay phone around the corner to get your call.

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