September 3, 2008

Retro Post Alert - Humor - Back by popular demand

How do I begin? I went shopping with a friend of mine, she starts a new job soon so we wanted to pick up some new clothes for her. I asked if she wanted me in the dressing room she said sure, "But I am warning you my underwear is full of holes and I can't promise what you will see." I'm a tough girl how bad could it be right? Wrong! It was like a car wreck you couldn't stop staring at, I don't even know how they stayed up it was like stretched out shredded trash bag with poodles trying to escape. I almost threw up! I told her how repulsive it was...she found my comment funny, while laughing and taking off her pants I thought I heard a fart, I mumbled to myself, "is she farting?" It was rhetorical because 18 farts later each getting louder as she laughed it sounded like we had a jack hammer in there! Her laughter turned into hysterics, a second later I hear liquid, then more, she completely peed all over the dressing room floor. I jumped up on my seat as it was wood floors and the urine were splashing all around like a water park. As I sat there in shock looking at my snot nosed crying friend standing in urine, I couldn't believe what had just happened. I tried to escape the room. I wasn't allowed she screamed "I'm naked you can't leave!" All she could do is say "Help Me" Help her? What the hell was I suppose to do?! She was covered in urine! Finally she let me go, I had to sneak out without splashing in liquid, it wasn't easy.

What happened after I left didn't sound pretty either, she told me after taking her dripping socks off she wiped her feet on the wall, pulled off her underwear and balled them up on the floor under the chair, and ran out of there. Believe it or not we then finished our shopping trip without a hitch. However, I knew if I heard screams coming from the dressing room it was time to run.

Original Link

No comments:

Post a Comment