Crossing Guards... menace to society?!

Crossing Guards... why do they think they rule the world when they put their reflector jacket, safety belt and blue cop hat on? I understand the need for them so children can make it across the street safely... But why does my 4'6" 300 lb. crossing guard feel the need to wave me along, letting me know I don't need to stop at the stop sign. Traffic laws do not apply while she waves her 12 inch arm my way. It's as if she becomes the law once she is in "uniform". I won't even get into the dramatic way she stops traffic when she spots a child 18 houses away. Whistles, bells, darting into the road like some mental patient.

Maybe it's me?

Ode to Stink...

My dream would be to send this letter to a co-worker of mine. Read on I believe it's self explanatory.

Dearest Stink Bomb,

Nobody finds it amusing when you say “ouch” , limp or make a sad (wah wah) face when you hurt yourself. It’s actually quite the contrary... It’s grotesque. You are a ”grown man” and all your little “boo-boos” are not only disgusting, but plain retarded to anyone with half a brain. It makes us even more repulsed than ever and have not an ounce of sympathy for you.

Be a man, Break a bone, become and amputee and perhaps we will show a bit of sympathy but next time you stub your “toddler toes” or bang your elbow.... Keep it to your f’ing self . No one, I repeat No one gives a Sh*t!


Thank you-
The group!