September 28, 2007

Resurrecting an oldie but goodie!

my mom joined an online dating service... Here is the email he sent
her. I took the liberty of translating it below I have a feeling its
what he really means....

My name is Freddie, I enjoy cooking and I take classes (as a hobby) at
l'academie de cuisine in Bethesda. I am a professional musician and
own an entertainment company. We probably know a lot of the same
people (if not each other). I live with my 2 Kerry Blue Terriers
(Terrorists) named Steinway & Baldwin. AKA the Doobie Brothers. I am
told I am attractive, I am educated (JD in Law) although I think I'm
too nice to practice,very well respected in the community and very
much a gentleman. I am very GQ and enjoy doing fun things. I just
joined a gym (I'm in pretty good shape, need to do more), have 2 grown
children, 3 grandchildren."

My name is Freddie, I enjoy eating and heating up eggo waffles. I
watch the food network as a hobby, and wish I owned an oven. I am a
professional harmonica player and own an escort service. You may know
some of the johns my girls go to visit, as they're prominent
attorneys in Pikesville. I own two dogs that live outside because I am
too lazy to be bothered. When given the option of dating me or Bob
Hope, I am told I am very attractive. I look very similar to Rodney
Dangerfield. I have my law degree through internet courses and can't
practice because I am missing a leg, I scare adults and children
alike. I am very Kmart and wear women's underware as a hobby. I
recently joined a gym but was kicked out because I was hitting on
everyone with a pair of tits. I have two grown children in jail and 3
grandchildren in Foster Care. You would be foolish not to call me,
just give me a heads up, my home phone was turned off I need to run
to the pay phone around the corner to get your call.

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